The litany of the insecure
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010 04:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geminianeyesPhysically, you are weaker than most men.
Emotionally, you're at the mercy of your hormones.
Career-wise, you're not a good fit because you'll get pregnant.
Career-wise, you're too aggressive because you're not married.
Creatively, you're too flighty.
You can't put in long hours because you've a family to take care of.
You can't put in long hours because you'll be kidnapped/raped/attacked walking from your office to your car.
Financially, you can't be trusted with money.
You'll be ugly after 30.
You're fat.
You're too skinny.
You're too gossipy.
You're too quiet.
Shut up, you're not religious enough.
Shut up, you're too fanatical.
Shut up, you can only play one role.
Shut up, just do your chores and make my dinner!
Shut up, let the "real men" talk.
Shut up, you don't have a dick.
~~~~~
I respond to all these by raising an eyebrow, smiling sweetly, and mentally patting the poor, misguided soul on the head. Or even doing it in real life if they're within reach. What's your method?
Emotionally, you're at the mercy of your hormones.
Career-wise, you're not a good fit because you'll get pregnant.
Career-wise, you're too aggressive because you're not married.
Creatively, you're too flighty.
You can't put in long hours because you've a family to take care of.
You can't put in long hours because you'll be kidnapped/raped/attacked walking from your office to your car.
Financially, you can't be trusted with money.
You'll be ugly after 30.
You're fat.
You're too skinny.
You're too gossipy.
You're too quiet.
Shut up, you're not religious enough.
Shut up, you're too fanatical.
Shut up, you can only play one role.
Shut up, just do your chores and make my dinner!
Shut up, let the "real men" talk.
Shut up, you don't have a dick.
~~~~~
I respond to all these by raising an eyebrow, smiling sweetly, and mentally patting the poor, misguided soul on the head. Or even doing it in real life if they're within reach. What's your method?
no subject
Date: 2010-04-28 01:56 pm (UTC)Said openly, most of those are cue for reasoned and fairly calm but definitely aggressive argument. When it's hidden, I tend to drop the evidence against into conversation whenever possible. ("I'm helping a friend move, he needs someone who can drive a van," f'rex).
no subject
Date: 2010-04-28 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-28 08:15 pm (UTC)An old boss of mine - a railwayman, and a working-class white guy in his fifties, to boot - was absolutely great at distinguishing between 'what you physically cannot do because you are quite small and don't work out' and 'what people will say you can't do because you're a woman.' A sales rep got his ear chewed off by the whole rest of the team for making a comment about me to them; they were so affronted that they had to come and tell me about it... He once told a story about one of the few other women working trackside; when she took the job, someone said, apparently in all earnestness, "but what about the swearing?" Her response was apparently ear-blistering and to the tune of, "they'll have to put up with it."
...I wish I still had that job.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-29 12:16 am (UTC)